im a brat.

it seems like everytime i'm feeling overly sorry for myself and the only thing im enjoying is the pity party thrown especially for me, something is thrown down in my path that tells me to stop being such a brat and that - hey - it could be worse.

like yesterday. i was running a few errands and trying to keep the tears inside my eyelids (i cry. its just what i do.) i was mentally running through all the recent events that allowed me to feel sorry for myself and really thought that i was just at the bottom of the barrell. i mean, my life is just in shambles, right? about that time, i saw a woman pushing what i assume to be her handicapped son in a wheelchair and, well, i just felt like the scum of the earth - for all new reasons. those two people have experienced a thousand more troubled times than i have, and i can imagine their daily tribulations are much more complicated than the ones i stress over. when i step back and take a look at my life, its really nothing to throw a dramatic shindig over, although i do daily. sure, my issues are upseting to me - and this instance does not ease the pain of the things i do go through, small or not - but my life could be so much worse. i am truly blessed. i need these reminders every now and then to tell me to grow up, stop being a spoiled brat and just deal with life. sometimes you cant just cry and make things better. sometimes you have to actually try and make an effort. perhaps thats what i'll do.

ps. i know why the caged bird sings. i just watched two lovebirds (pun intended) get it on. rather strange. its one of those things you dont really want to watch but you cant look away. then again, im weird.