Reflections from the life of a great man, and hopes for MY great man

Today, I attended the funeral of a man who made an incredible impact on my life. His name is Keith, and he's walking down streets of gold, talking to my Jesus.

The first time I went out of the country, I was on a mission trip to Grenada and Anguilla (West Indies) with Keith and his wife Roberta and 9 other girls (poor Keith). On that trip, I realized a few things.

1. People in other countries do not live as freely, luxuriously as we do in America.
2. Keith and Roberta love each other more than any couple I have EVER met.
3. Some other things that didn't hold true in the following years.

We traveled within three countries for 14 days, during which Keith preached at least once daily, and had to put up with 10 females constantly.

One night during the trip, Keith and Roberta sat all nine of us chit-chatty, giddy, silly girls down to tell us about true love and what makes a relationship last a lifetime. I will never, never forget that night and what they taught us.

Love is certainly not a Cinderella story and is never a happily ever after. It takes work and dedication. It takes two people who care enough about one another to put their partner above all else, but under God. It takes looking past imperfections and loving unconditionally - even if he eats his eggs with ketchup and it grosses you out (one of Roberta's pet peeves about Keith ... which we all thought was just adorable).

Sitting in the church this afternoon watching the family nod in agreement with the preacher and occasionally wipe a tear (they were all incredibly and admirably strong), I couldn't help but be thankful it wasn't me sitting in the front row listening to funny stories about my dad who had gone to be with Jesus. Don't get me wrong - my heart breaks for Roberta and her boys, and I wish we had Keith back in full silly-guy form, with a guitar strapped over his shoulder and a goofy grin on his face.

But when things like this happen to other people, it always makes me stop and realize how easily it could be me. I can't help but be thankful that my family is healthy and happy for now. And it makes me feel incredibly guilty for how upset I have been tonight over seemingly ridiculous things.

I've cried hysterically (no joke) from making myself upset over all the things "wrong" in my life: no car, no money, no job, no apartment, and other things that make me sad to the core. I cried even harder because I can't fall asleep and Mr. Man could not make it to my house to comfort me ... and I made him mad by being upset.

 It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth getting myself so upset I'm nearly sick. It wasn't worth ticking Mr. Man off so much that he never wants to come over again. It wasn't worth being so involved in my own ridiculous problems that I forgot what Keith's family is going through tonight. The things of this world are not worth it. And in the past few years, I have forgotten what IS important.

I have also forgotten this:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

That's good stuff.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I am so self-centered and selfish, but I am. I hate it. There is so much more I want to be, and maybe - just maybe - if I were a little more selfLESS, a little more caring, a little more compassionate, a little less dramatic, a little less psychotic, a little more loving, a little less annoying ... I would be lovable.

The Lord loves me. I just hope someone else can, too.

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Random Thoughts for the Day

It rarely pays to be the one nice person out of the bunch.

People should be required to retake the written AND physical driving tests upon each license renewal. Too many ignorant drivers on the road.

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts, and I feel that it doesn't suit her at all.

I should have the new Michael Buble CD.

It's funny and actually quite intriguing how many old people are now texters-while-driving. Scary. Refer to thought No. 2.

I don't understand why my 3-year-old dog who sleeps on the floor every night is crying endlessly to get in the bed with me while my 10-month-old dog that sleeps in the bed with me every night is curled up on a blanket on the floor passing out.

I keep hearing the heat kick on, but I'm still freezing underneath these blankets. This is why I prefer summer. Heat. Warmth. All things wonderful.

Five years of my life were spent going to college for an education that would help me get a better-than-normal job and make better-than-normal money. I graduated and it's the first time in my life I can't get a job. SallieMae still expects me to pay them back for the loans. Crazy.

It is pointless and a waste of time to help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

My iPhone arrives tomorrow. And I am .... so .... excited!

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David Letterman. Why?

David Letterman. We've all heard about the scandal. Why are we still talking about it?

I get it - he's technically a celebrity, and with the job comes the invasion of privacy. It's what all the stars complain about. But, he's still human and, although it doesn't excuse his behavior, its his life.

But what really gets me is this: As I sit here watching Entertainment Tonight, which is dedicated to the Letterman do-dah and the endless Jon & Kate debate, I'm floored by the number of celebs who commend Dave for stepping out and explaining the situation.

One. Commending him? Really? He's brave for going on air to tell about his scandal? Give me a break.

Two. Why should he have to go on his show and tell the world? It's no one's business. Granted, the rumor is that his wife made him apologize multiple times on TV - probably to cause him as much embarrassment as it has her. Regardless, there is no reason he should be expected to talk publicly about his private life.

I'm celebrity-obsessed, and I'll be the first to admit it. But I do realize these people are human and have just as crazy lives (crazier, actually) as I do. I wouldn't want my business splattered all over the Internet, and they don't need theirs to be either.

Then again, I'm posting a blog about it. Hmm... maybe I'm my own opponent.

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Crying over Puffy Pretzels

Piece of advice: before you begin putting medication into your body, recommended by your trusted family doctor, do your research. Know all side effects, not only from taking the medicine, but from not taking the medicine, as well. 

As I've come to find out, it is the withdrawal that physically hurts the most. It's quite ironic that side effects from the medicine that is supposed to make me feel better are actually worse than the original symptoms. How does that work?

So, now I am crying. Constantly. Over anything and everything. If I see a baby - I cry. If I see a picture of a happy couple - I cry. If I see someone else cry - I cry. I'm watching reruns of an old season of America's Next Top Model, episodes I've seen so many times I could probably quote them. Someone gave Shandi a compliment - I cried.

Why?

This, as could be imagined, is very annoying. Not only for me, but Mr. Man, too - although I'm trying to save the tears for when he is not present.

 

However, last night, I failed. I decided to make some homemade pretzels, recipe courtesy of mi madre. When she made them - oh man, SO good. Mr. Man was in love.

Although I knew before I started that my rendition of homemade pretzels wouldn't hold a candle to momma's, I wanted to try anyway.

After letting the dough set up and double in size for almost an hour, I plunge my hands in to start forming the pretzels. 

It was like cake batter. Not a baker? Let me give you a hint: it's not supposed to look or feel like cake batter.

So, go figure, I cried ... and cried ... and cried. Mr. Man came in when he heard me sniffling. And, of course, we laughed at the dough-batter as it schlopped from my hands to the cookie sheet like poo. Yes. Very disgusting.

But, after some guidance from my mom, I added some serious flour to the dough-batter to not only keep it from conforming to my hands, but to allow me to twist it into a shape other than a blob.

In the end, I only had to throw away one batch of pretzels because they were as big as pillows. Ew. The remaining thousand that did work out weren't so bad after all. Mr. Man ate 8 of them for breakfast, so they couldn't have been too disgusting. Or maybe he was just being nice...

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TV Time

I'm thinking I should cancel my television service. Unfortunately, I signed a 2-year contract that keeps me with DirecTV until 2011. Fantastic.

It seems as if every television show is just a huge mockery of everything I don't have.

The Hills: money, career, life.

Jon and Kate Plus 8: Eight kids. Thank .. God.

Say Yes to the Dress: a wedding. A marriage.

The Apprentice: a JOB.

The Price is Right: plasma TV, a car, trips around the world, and again, money.

These shows make sitting at home all day even more depressing than it already is. I sit and think about having no job, no money, no car. Maybe I should get up off the darn couch and take a run through WPR.

I am competent and old enough to understand that what is portrayed on TV is not always (actually, rarely is) realistic. It's not common for MTV producers to go into a high school, choose a clique and make them into millionaires. Most teenagers don't drive Mercedes and Range Rovers, take lavish vacations with parents MIA or live in mansions with pools overlooking the Hollywood hills. But this is what we see on TV. This is what we (I) want.

Unfortunately for the younger generation who is growing up in this reality-TV era, they are unable to discern between what is realistic and what is unattainable. They think that because their idols are sickeningly skinny, uber rich and spoiled brats, they should be too.

When the 8-Year-Old-Teenager cries, she doesn't just shed some tears - she throws an entire theatrical production. A small disclaimer: she's such a good girl. She doesn't throw tantrums or fall on the ground and scream like some crazy kids I've seen ... but her face says it all. She needs to be an actress.

My point is, she acts the way she does because of what she has seen in movies and on TV. It's sad... but how do you stop it? I don't mind her being a movie buff - because she definitely watches a lot of movies.

I think it's her generation's epidemic. Forget the Swine Flu - drama is taking over our children.

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The 10 Things I'm Loving Right Now

Here's what I'm obsessing over right now.


10. My New Mug
I bought this I Heart Jim mug at Border's today (sorry for the terrible pic). For $4.99, I got this incredible mug, PLUS a World's Best Boss mug for Mr. Man - the world's best boss (behind Michael Scott, of course!) ... What a bargain!

9. Popcorn
With movie theater butter seasoning, every night before I go to sleep while watching TV. Except now, I'm starting to watch movies that I've yet to see. Mr. Man hates my lack of movie knowledge, and quite frankly, I do too. So - I'm working to improve my general trivia knowledge of movies ... and pop culture in general.


8. Girly YouTube videos.
Make-up and hair do tutorials, in particular. I'm loving Elle and Blair, and they make me wish I knew how to wear make up. And it makes me want to be obsessed with MAC products - and affluent enough to afford them. Oh well.


7. Kate Spade leopard bag.   
I love, love, LOVE this bag. Every time I walk through Macy's I admire its impeccable beauty. But, at $295, it is quite a bit more than I can afford right now with a $0 income. It will have to appear in my dreams until I find a job to complement my shopping fantasies.

6. Leopard Print Ballet Flats.
It may seem otherwise, but I'm not really an animal-print kind of girl. But I've been dying for an adorable pair of leopard-print flats. The only pair I've found so far that I remotely like are - sit down - Miley Cyrus / Max Azria from none other than Wal-Mart. For $10, at that! I may go for the bargain.


5. Dr. Mario.
On my computer, not on the Nintendo. (I had an old school SNES, but I traded it a while back for my Sega Genesis. Stupid.)


4. Thigh-High boots.
Non-hookerish thigh highs for fall / winter. Particularly fringe. Ah. 


3. Where the Wild Things Are art.
I love art. But I love art that has meaning even more. I would LOVE to have this on my bedroom wall to look at before I go to sleep every night and when I wake up every morning. Oh - and I'm so very excited to take my loves to see the movie.

2. OPI Nail Polish.
Right now I LOVE the color You're a Pisa Work (very bright pink). However, it spilled in my purse and dried to the lid so I can't open it. Boo to that. 


1. The Loves of my Life.
They are beautiful. They are my life. Need I say more?

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Someday, I'll Write a Book

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