Me.

I don't want to be like everyone else anymore. And even more so, I don't want to want to be like everyone else.

I'm pretty hard on myself, and I throw a lot of extravagant pity parties for poor ol' Jen. But maybe who I am isn't so bad.

So what if things aren't how I planned them to be when I was growing up? Who really knows anything about life at 16? All I was basing my dreams and visions on were the outcomes of others' lives. And those people undoubtedly went through their share of not-fun, depressing times.

I've really never been one to hate myself. In fact, I've always pretty much loved everything about me. This past year has changed that, for sure, but whose fault is that other than mine? And whose fault is it if it stays that way? Again, mine.

I'll never be model-thin or basketball-player tall. I'll never have a Whitney voice or Cindy Crawford looks. But what keeps me from building an Oprah empire or joining the socialites of NYC? Maybe I'll never get to those places in my life, but I'll certainly never get there if I don't try.

I know what I want, but those things seem to hate my guts.

And when no one wants you to stay, you have no other choice but to go.

Read more...

Ten on Tuesday

I clearly have no imagination, because I repeatedly take blog ideas from my favorite bloggers. BUT - I always link back... AND Chelsea invited her readers to keep the questions going. ... So, I am.


1. What are some of your family traditions?
Traditions typically come out during the holidays - but wouldn't it be fun to have traditions throughout the whole year? Oh well. 
In December, the women on my mom's side of the family always get together to bake cookies. We each bring our own recipe(s), ingredients and bakeware. We mix, we roll, we bake and we have a good time with family. (And, of course, we all help clean up.) At the end of the day, we share each others' cookies, which is the best part!
But my favorite tradition of all time is on Christmas Eve. Since I was a little girl, I remember walking into my Mamaw's house and she is always stirring the punch. Love this. Sometimes, I have to call and remind her I'm coming over and to get ready. But - it's the thought that counts! (PS - her Christmas punch is the BEST punch I've ever tasted. By. Far.)


2. Do you know how to change a flat tire?
Actually, I do. Could I execute it properly? Not so sure. But the better question is, "Do you know how to put gas in your car?" because I have been stranded so many more times for running out of gas than having a flat tire. Probably 10 to 1. It's called procrastination.


3. Do you subscribe to any magazines? What are your favorites?
I do, but not enough. Mr. Man's mom gave me a Real Simple subscription for Christmas last year, which may be one of the best Christmas presents EVER (you keep getting it ALL year). I used to subscribe to Cosmopolitan, Women's Health and the Food Network ... but I'm poor now. Real Simple is definitely my favorite ... maybe because it's the only one that comes to me via mail. 


4. What are your top three favorite office supply items? (If you don’t share the love of office supplies with me or if you are male, you may skip this question.)
BIC mechanical pencils. I love how the eraser is perfect when you first buy the pack, although I hate making that first mistake. The pencil loses all its innocence.


Notebooks. Any and all. I love the plain to the gaudy. My only stipulation is no wide rule. I love a sketch book, a composition notebook, a journal or a regular, college ruled notebook. But it's always a struggle for me to write on that first page. Like the pencil's eraser, it's so clean and perfect - and I'm about to mess it up. But ... I always do.


Planners. Regardless of what Chelsea says, I think day planners are an essential office supply. Like notebooks, I love them all. Big or small, I don't discriminate.


5. Are you a good public speaker?
My initial answer is "NO!" But, if I have great notecards, or (if I'm President Obama) I have a teleprompter, I can make a heck of a speech. This hasn't always been the case. In my first years of college, my speech class was my dreaded hour of the day. I was terrified to stand in front of the class of, like, 15 people and talk about anything. I'd sweat and be nauseated. Fun times. 


6. How do you feel about acronyms?
Well, Burnis and AP Style certainly turned me off to them years ago. But sometimes, they can be fun. Unless you're ACORN.


7. What's the most creative thing you've ever done? (Bloggers, feel free to include pictures!)
I'd like to have something more appropriate or mature than what I'm about to say ... but I'm afraid this might be the winner. ... In high school, my BFF Kristi and I needed Halloween costumes for my party. Since it was the day-of and we were still costume-less, we threw on trashbags, glued on banana peels, food wrappers and (dare I admit this) even a (clean) tampon, and called ourselves white trash.


8. I'd rather jam a pen in my eye than...
-go back to high school
-work retail (oh wait, I do)
-drink V8
-watch someone spit


9. What company has the best advertising?
For lack of time of thinking, I'm going to go with Apple. Although I do love their commercials, I'm certain there are more entertaining ads out there. 


10. When is your birthday?
May 8. I don't want to turn 24!!! Noooooooo!

Read more...

Wow ... I'm out of shape.

After waking up early at 10 AM to the incessant, obnoxious ringing of the telephone, it was time to start my day.

I sat down with a bowl of Special K (with yogurt and berries ... mmm) to watch my favorite morning show people of all time - Regis and Kelly. And who else was on the show but my favorite celebutards of all time - Heidi and Spencer.  I am not ashamed to say that I will most likely buy their book, How to be Famous. (Because, clearly, I have a chance at that.)

I looked down to see an eyelash in my cereal. Very likely it was my own ... but does that make it any better? I dipped my spoon in the milk and just like that, the eyelash disappeared into cereal land. I took another bite from the other side of the bowl and then, upon imagining myself unknowingly ingesting that eyelash, became a bit nauseated and poured it out.

So now it is all of 10:30 AM. No work until 5 PM and nowhere to go. What to do? Ah, the forbidden two words: work out. I mean, it's only been months.

I grabbed my newest pair of running shorts ...

(not the exact pair ... but close. And I paid 10 bucks for them at Marshalls! I know, I'm so thrifty!)

 |via|

... tied up my laces, turned on my Let's Get Skinny playlist on my iPod and pressed Start on the treadmill.

Minutes 1 through 5, I was singing along with Fergie and Jason Mraz, doing a little dance here and there (almost fell only once).

Minutes 6 through 10, I resorted to singing in my head and focusing on my breathing.

Minutes 11 and 12, I mentally pumped myself up. ("Come on, Jen. You can do this, you fat tub of lard.")

Minute 13, I pressed stop and started bargaining with God for my life. Minute 13 is also the time I realized, I am certainly way, WAY out of shape.

Yes, this is all pretty embarrassing and actually quite sad. HOWEVER, I am satisfied with myself today because I got off my butt, turned off the TV and did something for myself. I know this whole "getting into shape" thing takes a very long time, but being healthy is something I have to do. I have too many physical conditions that rely on me taking care of myself. I can do this.

So, after almost dying, I was hungry. (duh) I skipped the pizza rolls, although they were screaming at me, and made myself a salad. A delicious salad, might I add.

A handful of baby spinach lettuce, about a tablespoon of chopped onion, tablespoon of chopped tomato, half a cucumber, about a half tablespoon of shredded cheese, salt, pepper and a side of Ranch. I never put dressing directly on my salad (unless I'm at Olive Garden) because:

1. It smothers the taste of the salad and makes me want to gag.
2. You will actually eat less dressing (the most fattening part of the salad) if you either dip your naked fork into the dressing and then get salad, or the other way around. And it tastes just the same ... or in my opinion, better!

Too bad the onion I used was mega potent, and now I'm going to have killer breath for a week. Not to mention the smell coming through my pores. Lovely, right?

Read more...