Wow ... I'm out of shape.

After waking up early at 10 AM to the incessant, obnoxious ringing of the telephone, it was time to start my day.

I sat down with a bowl of Special K (with yogurt and berries ... mmm) to watch my favorite morning show people of all time - Regis and Kelly. And who else was on the show but my favorite celebutards of all time - Heidi and Spencer.  I am not ashamed to say that I will most likely buy their book, How to be Famous. (Because, clearly, I have a chance at that.)

I looked down to see an eyelash in my cereal. Very likely it was my own ... but does that make it any better? I dipped my spoon in the milk and just like that, the eyelash disappeared into cereal land. I took another bite from the other side of the bowl and then, upon imagining myself unknowingly ingesting that eyelash, became a bit nauseated and poured it out.

So now it is all of 10:30 AM. No work until 5 PM and nowhere to go. What to do? Ah, the forbidden two words: work out. I mean, it's only been months.

I grabbed my newest pair of running shorts ...

(not the exact pair ... but close. And I paid 10 bucks for them at Marshalls! I know, I'm so thrifty!)

 |via|

... tied up my laces, turned on my Let's Get Skinny playlist on my iPod and pressed Start on the treadmill.

Minutes 1 through 5, I was singing along with Fergie and Jason Mraz, doing a little dance here and there (almost fell only once).

Minutes 6 through 10, I resorted to singing in my head and focusing on my breathing.

Minutes 11 and 12, I mentally pumped myself up. ("Come on, Jen. You can do this, you fat tub of lard.")

Minute 13, I pressed stop and started bargaining with God for my life. Minute 13 is also the time I realized, I am certainly way, WAY out of shape.

Yes, this is all pretty embarrassing and actually quite sad. HOWEVER, I am satisfied with myself today because I got off my butt, turned off the TV and did something for myself. I know this whole "getting into shape" thing takes a very long time, but being healthy is something I have to do. I have too many physical conditions that rely on me taking care of myself. I can do this.

So, after almost dying, I was hungry. (duh) I skipped the pizza rolls, although they were screaming at me, and made myself a salad. A delicious salad, might I add.

A handful of baby spinach lettuce, about a tablespoon of chopped onion, tablespoon of chopped tomato, half a cucumber, about a half tablespoon of shredded cheese, salt, pepper and a side of Ranch. I never put dressing directly on my salad (unless I'm at Olive Garden) because:

1. It smothers the taste of the salad and makes me want to gag.
2. You will actually eat less dressing (the most fattening part of the salad) if you either dip your naked fork into the dressing and then get salad, or the other way around. And it tastes just the same ... or in my opinion, better!

Too bad the onion I used was mega potent, and now I'm going to have killer breath for a week. Not to mention the smell coming through my pores. Lovely, right?