i interviewed all four mayoral candidates for the city recently. fairly easy articles to write: question and answer, write it down. until i reached my last interview, that is. first of all, we prayed before the interview - which is fine because i was not offended. however, i think that's risky because it could offend some people and i am never for pushing religion upon anyone. i wouldnt want a muslim to ask me to pray to whoever it is they pray to with them. anyway, i digress.
so this woman wouldnt let me use a tape recorder, which with a question and answer format, you HAVE to use a recorder to make sure you get the words verbatim. but whatever. i made her repeat and repeat - which was her fault. ... so the article comes out - and i get an email telling me i made many mistakes and she wants them corrected. she said the quotes were not direct.
that makes me want to scream.
but whatever. i did my part. i made one mistake that i can see, and i can deal with that. i'm not perfect.
its been a good weekend. im not ready for another week of school.
it seems like everytime i'm feeling overly sorry for myself and the only thing im enjoying is the pity party thrown especially for me, something is thrown down in my path that tells me to stop being such a brat and that - hey - it could be worse.
like yesterday. i was running a few errands and trying to keep the tears inside my eyelids (i cry. its just what i do.) i was mentally running through all the recent events that allowed me to feel sorry for myself and really thought that i was just at the bottom of the barrell. i mean, my life is just in shambles, right? about that time, i saw a woman pushing what i assume to be her handicapped son in a wheelchair and, well, i just felt like the scum of the earth - for all new reasons. those two people have experienced a thousand more troubled times than i have, and i can imagine their daily tribulations are much more complicated than the ones i stress over. when i step back and take a look at my life, its really nothing to throw a dramatic shindig over, although i do daily. sure, my issues are upseting to me - and this instance does not ease the pain of the things i do go through, small or not - but my life could be so much worse. i am truly blessed. i need these reminders every now and then to tell me to grow up, stop being a spoiled brat and just deal with life. sometimes you cant just cry and make things better. sometimes you have to actually try and make an effort. perhaps thats what i'll do.
ps. i know why the caged bird sings. i just watched two lovebirds (pun intended) get it on. rather strange. its one of those things you dont really want to watch but you cant look away. then again, im weird.
i havent watched the mtv vmas since i was in high school, but i was really excited about britney showing up tonight, thoroughly hoping she would perform. (as of yet, she has not) but the opening speech by russell brand - the host - disgusted me completely. i know it wasnt that guy's words because he is merely an employee of mtv. however, i am appalled by mtv's use of their ginormous platform as a plug for barack - or any candidate for that matter!! and to add to that - they bad-mouthed president bush, which always pisses me off. called him a stupid cowboy. id like to punch that russell brand and the people of mtv in the butt.
sometimes change is okay. sometimes change is absolutely necessary. as i have found out, sometimes change is for the better.
today, i didnt go back to sleep after i dropped E off to work. instead, i did work for class - and finished it BEFORE class, a revolutionary experience for me. today, i parked in a free parking spot and walked an extra block to class. parking-ticket free, living a block greener. today, i was early for class. early for only one, but that, too, is revolutionary.
today is a new day for myself, and i kind of love it. i have plans for additional revolutionary moments to put into my life. some may take longer than others, but i am determined to revamp 'jen.' this change will be okay. this change is necessary. this change is most definitely for the better.
unfortunately, i am not a fan of obama or i would say his slogans inspired me. however, he did not. i digress.
life is good, even when it sucks. just so you know.
I'm always wrong, never right. I can never win. I try something one way and get reprimanded. I try the opposite and get shunned. I am a bad word, its the worst thing ever. I try to be nice, it is forgotten immediately. I'm confused.
Sometimes I just feel like crying. But then again, that's wrong, too.
I'm going to take a nap. I can't do anything wrong while I'm asleep. Or can I?
i hate change. i have never understood why a good thing can't stay the way it is. does it always turn ugly? well, in my experience, yes. thats unfortunate.
my biggest aggravation is change in people. how is this possible? it brings up the very eerie , how do you ever know who a person really is? i mean, someone can't really change so dramatically in a short period of time can they? my theory is that people run on emotions (and i figure im pretty safe to trust in that theory). at the start of something new, emotions are at a high and it feels like the best thing ever. then you come off that high and realize its really just so so. and then you want something better - more like that original high. but is that reality? i dont think so. everything has a down side, which mean nothing and no one is perfect. we have to learn to love what and who we have. sometimes, love just isnt enough.
ps. i think im a pretty classy girl, no matter what anyone else says.
i feel a little retarded every time the Star Spangled Banner is played and a US athlete has a medal placed around their neck. i get teary eyed, its true. but its a sense of pride. national love. i mean, we kind of are the greatest country ever. and i dont mean just in the olympics. (beceause china definitely rocked out the womens gymnastics, im not going to lie.) but really - despite the fact that we are trillions in debt and have two not-so-exciting candidates for president, our country rocks. id elaborate, but my stomach is yelling at me to feed it. and although i probably wont, considering it is 130 in the morning, i dont have the energy to think about why my country is 'da bomb,' let alone move my fingers excessively fast to type why it is 'da bomb.' so - i'll leave it at that.
dreaming exhausts me. for the hours that i lie unconscious in my bed, i'm not really asleep. instead, i live in a world that i can not control. i talk, i think, i feel. and when i wake up, im completely unrested.
every now and then i'll have a dream that haunts me through the course of the next day. sometimes even extensively longer. it's like no matter how much i try to divert my mind from the previous night's events, it keeps flashing into my mind. its almost as if it really happenend. it is annoying and scary and delightful - all at the same time.
like last night, i dreamed crazy. i dont really remember the first part, but the ending (or the part before the incessant phone ringing woke me up) continuously and annoyingly pops into my train of though. i was at some sort of a carnival with my boyfriend and a very chunky and infant little boy (his adorable son). but my ex-husband then entered the scene, wanting me back. he adored me, loved me - a far cry from reality. i was happy - knowing that, for once, he actually wanted me. the boyfriend was upset, but understanding. i was torn, but at the same time i knew the boyfriend didnt adore me the way my ex-husband was showing me that he did. ironic, because i'd say its the complete opposite in real life.
the dream was abruptly ended at the point where my ex and i were driving to my small house in the woods - to my love, the boyfriend.
i'll be the first to say that i dont believe dreams have any significant meaning to the life which i live in reality. i feel they are merely fictional, no-facts-based stories conjured during unconsciousness. i know others will disagree. but either way, i have these dreams - and they are so real. i think logically, feel emotions, feel physically. and, as i mentioned, when i wake up it almost feels as if i had really lived through the instance.
i dont have an answer as to why - but id really like for them to go away. if for nothing else, so i can have a decent night of rest.
ive been at camp caleb during the designated week in july since i was in the sixth grade - 11 years ago. the first eight years as a camper, jumping at all of the popcorns, running so hard in frisbee football i thought i may have a heatstroke, kicking all the others girls' butts in basketball, taking home a good 50 percent of the awards. and then the last three years as a counselor, trying to be to the younger girls what my predecessors had been to me.
this morning, the vans left to go to camp caleb this week - without me.
i know this is the time during which i have to grow up: stay home because i have two jobs that i cant do without and summer school that starts that i must pass or else i dont graduate in the spring (already a year late). i know these things have to get done, and i feel a bit of self-satisfaction knowing i made the mature, logical decision to stay home and take care of what needs done. but at the same time, i know i'm missing out on the morning roll call, the team games that always get me riled up and make me want to be a camper again, the nasty cafeteria food, the girls circle at night trying to get the boys cabin area to hear us (although i know its impossible) and sitting in the hot, dirty bunk bed at night writing in my journal, missing home and wanting to leave. most of all, i know im missing out on the blessing that i would inevitably get just from being there. especially the girls who run up to me and give me a hug, so glad that i will be there all week. its good to be wanted.
but since im stuck in h-town dubya vee, i guess i should make the most of it. and, ya know, its not so bad after all. i get to spend this week with the one i love, chilling at the pool or playing card games or the sega. i get to see my family every single day - a luxury many people are not blessed with, even if they are near home. so what if i have to work? at least i have a place to live, a nice car (ok make that a crappy piece of junk that doesnt run) and nice things. i dont give my life enough credit.
life is good. (except for being on hold with Apple for 30 minutes. good holding music, though)
i love summer. make that LOVE LOVE summer. unfortunately, being an adult means that i am not allowed to enjoy the beautiful, warm sun or the glimmering cool water of the community pool. no, instead, i have to don my peanut-encrusted logans outfit and serve people drinks and food. its a dirty job. but someone has to do it. and unfortunately, that person is me for the time being. whatever pays the bills, right?
im tired. people wear me out. and so does being at the pool all day. (okay, i admit it. i DID 86 work to lay at the pool. =)
with a little inspiration from a fellow classmate, i have been in deep obsession with photoshop for the past two days. i feel that creativity is one of my better qualities. if not enough information to assume so, this picture of evan and myself is todays creation. (psily)
i find it ironic how it rains only on my days off.
i am thoroughly upset about last night's bachelorette finale. pretty pretty deanna - whose heart was tragically broken by brad womack two seasons ago - picked ugly ugly jesse to marry ... and do other things with. look at him. hes such a goofball. but i guess looks arent everything. (pause) YEAH RIGHT.
no, really, i'm kidding. they arent.
evan (the significant other) thinks im crazy for being so obsessed with the lives of these people. he says its just a show and that its completely scrpited. he just doesnt get it. i mean - heck ... when joey and dawson didnt end up together (dawsons creek ... come on, people) my friend kristi and i bawled our eyes out. we grew up with these kids on the creek. its just our generation. we no longer play in the literal creek, we watch it on tv. thats why we're all fat.
speaking of fat, i should be doing some yoga or some kind of physical movement other than bobbing my fingers up and down on the keyboard. i shall go make myself less of a blob of yuck.
i tried for about a whole week to imitate on my blog the object of my obsession - perez hilton. i quickly realized i have neither the time nor the connections to be a gossip ganstar. oh well. maybe one day.
for now, i guess i'll keep my musings to a minimum by sharing them only with my significant other. i'm not sure whether or not he appreciates that. perhaps he wishes i would keep a blog. i digress.
moral of this story: its my blog. i will write whatevertheheck i want to write - whether its about my dreary day or amy winehouse going into rehab even though she said no, no, no! who really reads blogs anyway? (okay, i do.)
This is truly appalling. When is that crazy church of Obama's going to stop raising hell (pun intended).
This time, it's not even that racist Rev. (if you can call him that) Jeremiah Wright. The church invited the father Michael Pfleger from Faith Community of St. Sabina in Chicago. He's white, but I think he'd rather not be.
Heres what he says:
"...honest enough to address the one who says, 'don't hold me responsible for what my ancestors did. But you have enjoyed the benefits of what your ancestors did. And unless you are ready to give up the benefits: throw away your 401 fund, throw away your trust fund, throw away all the money that's been put away in the company you walked into 'cause your daddy and your grandaddy and your great-grand.... Unless you're willing to give up the benefits, then you must be responsible for what was done in your generation because you are the beneficiary of this insurance policy."
Sick, isn't it? It gets better.
"We must be honest enough to expose white entitlement and supremacy wherever it raises its head. I've said it before, and I really don't want to make this political, because you know I'm very unpolitical. But, when Hillary was crying, and people said it was put on- I really don't believe it was put on. I really believe she just always thought that 'this is mine. I'm Bill's wife, I'm white and this is mine. I just gotta get up and step into the plate.' And then out of nowhere came 'Hey, I'm Barack Obama.' And she said, 'Oh damn! Where did you come from? I'm white! I'm entitled! There's a black man stealing my show!' She wasn't the only one crying. There was a whole lot of white people crying!"
It makes me cringe everytime I watch the video. It's just so absurd the profanities coming out of this "man of God." (By the way, I'd like to know which god called him into the ministry because I don't want to serve that one.) According to this crazy-man, we (whites) are supposed to give up our luxuries and anything of worth passed down to us through the generations because of slavery and black oppression that existed hundreds of years ago. I'm sorry - I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with that. Pfleger says we have to be responsible for what happened in our generation. Well, genius, it wasn't in ANY of our generations, except for maybe a few old senile senior citizens who don't even remember it.
And his comments regarding Hillary were just unnecessary and completely racist. If she feels that she is entitled because she's white, then whatever. But you can't just assume that. It's a very generalized racist statement toward ALL whites that is unfair.
And this guy is white! That's what is funny/sick about the whole thing.
Look - if you want to make comments regarding whites like that, thats totally fine. Just don't try to slap a discrimination lawsuit on someone when they say something slightly negative about blacks. That's all I ask.
It was JUST okay. (But it's always nice to have a bit of Harrison Ford action, even if the beautiful Sean Connery was MIA).
Although the new Dr. Jones movie has almost reached record highs during its opening week, I have to agree with the critics that say it isn't as brilliant as expected.
My take on the film: too much George Lucas, not enough Steven Spielberg. Too space-agey, futuristic and not as much like the original Indiana Jones'. And, to boot, there were several scenes that were obviously computer-generated and noticably fake. I was not impressed.
However, I was delightfully surprised at Shia LeBouf's performance. I'll be the first to say I'm not a fan of the former Disney actor, but he delivered better than I expected.
All I have to say is there better not be ANOTHER sequel. Leave it alone.
I wonder if people really believe these crazy politicians.
Sure, John McCain has repudiated endorsements from preachers John Hagee and Rod Parsley. Obama has done the same with his long-time pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright. All three "evangelists" have made unfortunate public statements, which have required the candidates to reject their endorsements.
And thats just it: Obama and McCain have no other choice BUT to reject their endorsements. If they agreed with them, they'd be committing election suicide.
But do people really believe that these candidates are rejecting the endorsements because of personal beliefs? Or are American voters intelligent enough to realize it is merely a publicity stunt?
I mean, come on - do you really think Obama is going to deny his relationship with racist Rev. Wright, his pastor of nearly 20 years, in private? Heck no! He will in the public eye, caught up in the media frenzy. But once he is voted in as commander-in-chief, don't think that relationship will be tossed to the wayside.
McCain, on the other hand, is not directly related to Hagee or Parsley. He has, allegedly, never attended either of the pastors' churches. They simply publicly endorsed the candidate, and then made heinous statements that enraged critics looking to find something to talk about.
All I have to say is don't buy into all the candidates' BS until after November (and even then it's real iffy). Everything they say right now is to make you happy with them so they can have your vote.
Eddie Walker, principal of Irmo High School in Columbia, S.C., has submitted his letter of resignation effective after the 2008-09 school year because of a Gay-Straight Alliance club to be formed within the school.
Attorneys have advised the school to allow the club to form and meet to avoid costly lawsuits that are likely to follow. Walker said his "professional beliefs and religious convictions" would not allow him to remain the principal at such an institution.
Let the "conservative bigot" talk begin.
I understand Walker's convictions and realize the difficult he might have in his position of administration. But, really, what can you do? This is America - land of the free - and it kind of has to be that way. The only solution, other than letting the club form, is to prohibit ANY clubs to meet.
The Irmo H.S. website homepage lists the meetings for the extra-curricular clubs, and the Fellowship of Christian Atheletes tops the page. You know critics will take that and run. But I will have to agree with them on this one.
I'll be the first to say that homosexuality is wrong and unnatural and I do not agree with it in any way. However, in light of civil rights freedoms, how can some people be granted rights, but not others?
But then again, I don't think gay marriage should be legalized. Call me a hypocrite - I don't care.
But as for Walker resigning, I'm not sure it as the best decision. The next principal will probably be a gay, transgender, drag queen ....
Kentucky exit polls show that race was a factor in Tuesday's primary, the Associated Press is reporting. One in five white voters said race influenced their vote - and about 90 percent of those voters supported Hillary.
Obama was winning the white vote in Oregon, which seemed to have race as a lesser factor in the decision-making of voters.
CNN senior political analyst David Gergen said Hillary should tell these "racists" that she does not want their vote.
Glad you're not her campaign manager, Davie.
Mr. Gergen is obviously a liberal who pro-equality. Which makes his following statement interesting.
"She and her husband both have, I think, well-earned reputations in the civil rights front," Gergen said. "She's never had redneck votes before in her life. I see no reason why she can't take the high road here in the closing days of this campaign."
Ahh. How very politically correct of Mr. Gergen. I find that hypocrites are hilarious. I laugh at them.
Obama takes Oregon, and Clinton kills in Kentucky. Talk is that Hillary should bow out of the race. I'm going to have to agree.
Disclaimer: I am not an Obama supporter.
BUT - Hillary really has no chance at this point. Obama is a mere 70-ish delegates away from winning the nomination and is millions of dollars ahead of her in funding. In fact, Hillary's campaign is in debt and has borrowed several million dollars from her personal fund. (Wonder what Bill thinks about that?)
And quite frankly, Florida and Michigan are not going to count toward delegates. And if they do, it's wrong. They chose to break the rules, deal with the consequences. Now, don't get me wrong, I'd like Hillary to have those delegates and potentially beat Obama to the nomination - simply because McCain will beat her out, but might not against Obama. But still ... the states made their decisions, and I don't think rules should be bent backward for special treatment. For anyone.
All I know is McCain has a LOT of campaigning to do. Serious hard core work in the next few months. Obama is a tough competitor. I mean, there are more black voters than ever (because of Obama) and that's what will hurt the Republican party.
He is retorting to a recent Tennessee GOP ad that bashed his wife's statement: "for the first time in my adult lifetime, I am proud of America." Sick. Obama said that Michelle should not be a factor in the 2008 campaign.
I disagree.
First of all, there is the possibility (unfortunately, a pretty big one) that Michelle will be the next First Lady of the United States. That automatically makes her a factor in the presidential campaign - to me, anyway. Personally, I don't want a First Lady who hasn't been proud of her country for 20-some years. If you don't love America, leave.
Secondly, she has been campaigning hard-core for her husband, which she should be, of course. Any candidate's spouse would. (Refer to Mrs. Clinton, Bill.) But by putting herself out there through campaigning, she is also allowing herself to be vulnerable to scrutiny from not only the media, but American voters, in general.
But it gets better.
On a Fox News debate (get over it - I still watch Fox), a Democratic analyst (I forget his name) said the reason her statement has received so much criticism is a result of racism. Yeah, RACISM. Give me a bloody break. It's not because the woman is black, are you kidding me? It's because she implied that she had not been proud of her country for decades. Period. If the woman was white, red, purple or green, it would still be a big deal.
Here's a good example of racism, however. Barack and Michelle's ridiculous pastor Jeremiah Wright of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago called our beloved country the United States of White America and USofKKKA. I mean, really?
He also said the reason why people are "hating on Barack Obama" is because he doesn't fit the mold: he's not white, he's not rich and he's not privileged.
First - he's not white. His mother is a white American from Kansas, so if you want to get technical, he's just as much white as he is black.
Secondly - the Obama's 2008 tax return will show that they were about $9,000 short of $1 million gross income for the year. That's not well off? Give me a break. That's much more than the average American.(For Obama's home state of Illinois, the median income for federal fiscal year 2008 for a 4-person family was around $72,000)I think they're doing okay for themselves.
As for privileged, I guess that's up to personal interpretation of the term. I'm going to go with yes.
In conclusion, I say don't lay off his wife, as he has requested, unless by some chance she agrees to keep herself out of the campaign limelight. And as for racism, give me a break. You want equality, you can have it. Stop using the color of your skin to get what you want. We had a movement in the sixties that stopped whites from doing it - I figure it's about time for blacks and every other color to stop doing it, as well.
I am an aspiring journalist who is entirely disappointed with contemporary journalism. So instead of pursuing a paid position at a renowned publication, I am writing what I want, when I want here in my own little space of the Web. My aspirations do include major publication, but that time will come as it may. Until then, I will write as I do in my personal journal - uncensored, unafraid, straightforward and downright blatant. The truth hurts, but it's so much fun to write about.
