All About Me

In my 23 years of life, I have figured out a thing or two about myself. I have changed over time, especially in the last several years - but there are many things that remain consistent about me. I'm a silly girl, a hopeless romantic, a writer, a bad word. I am many things normal. But here are a few things that are unique to me that I, surprisingly, love about myself (well, maybe not all of them):

1. I like to sweep and vacuum. There's something about visible dirtiness being overcome by a force greater than it with the end result being cleanliness. Actually, I really just like cleanliness.

2. When I'm driving, I often grit my teeth in between certain points, i.e. slashes in the middle of the road, shadows of trees, telephone poles, mailboxes, etc.

3. I have a birthmark on my back that is lighter than my skin and only shows up when I have a great tan. The cool thing about it is it looks like a dinosaur.

4. I can't burp. (this is one I do NOT love)

5. I daydream about being a celebrity and giving an interview about all the exciting things in my life. Perhaps this is just a fantasy because I have been the interviewER for years. Or maybe I just want to be a celebrity. Or maybe I just want an exciting life. Any of the above.

6. I like to pretend that I'm a great photographer. But really, I suck. Big time.

7. I really wish I had grown up in the '80s (I was born in '86, so that doesn't count). I hate that I don't know every word to every Madonna and Michael Jackson song. And I'm really bummed that I missed out on the first go-around of leg warmers.

8. I searched and searched for my fourth grade teacher years after graduating high school. I had a recurring dream about her that was slightly haunting. We finally reconnected on Facebook, and I literally felt a weight removed from my mind. Facebook. Who knew?

9. I would totally have my legs broken so I could be taller. 5'3" blows.

10. I'm still afraid of the dark. Well, really I'm afraid of what lurks in the dark. Typically it is my boyfriend creeping up on me to scare the bejeezus out of me. Mean, I know.

11. As a former waitress, I have never in my life spit in or made any disgusting adjustments to someone's meal ... but I have witnessed it done.

12. During my "I'm going to be a singer" phase, I had my Christian contemporary demo song played on a local radio station. It was really, really bad.

13. When I was 13, I was in love with a 20 year old who told me that one day, if we got married, we would write a book about our love story. I believed him. It didn't happen. Sad (on many levels), it's true.

14. I hate beets. No, I loathe beets. My dad made me eat them when I was younger. I gagged. Everyone laughed. Never again.

15. I want a tattoo. No, I don't. I can't make up my mind. I think they're edgy. I also think they're trashy. Hmm...

16. I can't take a fish off the hook. Never have. One of these days I'll grow some and stick my fingers down that critter's throat and yank out the hook. Maybe not.

17. I love Martha Stewart. I love everything she does, makes, sells, promotes. I bet she even folds fitted sheets perfectly.

18. I think George W. Bush is sexy. But that's not new information.

19. I've always said I'm a city girl living in the hills of WV, but the older I get, the more I realize I'm a country girl through and through. I'll take four-wheeling and fishin' over broadway and a taxi any day.

20. I don't necessarily want to be a celebrity ... but I'd like to be BFFs with one.

21. People genuinely do not like me and I don't know why - oftentimes, people I don't even know. Because of this, I've made it my goal to be a better person. (Update: haven't started yet)

22. I wish I knew how to dance. I can't even do the macarena correctly.

23. The thing that bothers me the most about getting divorced is that I missed out on so much as an 18 to 20 year old. College life. Sororities. Friends. Parties. Then again, maybe it kept me out of trouble...

24. I am incredibly fascinated by Hitler and his Nazi followers.

25. I only eat Chinese food with chop sticks. Even rice.

26. "That's what she said" is my favorite thing to say. And if I don't say it, I'm still thinking it.

27. When I try to think about the things that define me, I can't. So I'll just think on this for another week and add some more later. Sigh.

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I Ain't No Emily Dickinson

I used to write poetry a lot. Nothing decent. Mostly silly rhymes about my ever-so-distressing life as a teenager in love. Reading through them at 23 years of age, I find the musings rather, well, amusing.

I remember feeling so sad and upset. I was positive my life was over .. every day. If only I knew then what I know now.

I'll share these silly things with you every now and then - if you promise not to judge me.

Here is one I most likely wrote during a math class:

my eyes are heavy
my minds asleep
my dreams become vivid
much deeper i creep

concentration has left
my hearings absurd
i fall into darkness
please do not disturb

what a heavenly state
i could not resist
oh nothing compares
to this peaceful bliss

ive waited forever
all day at least
and finally i can
lay down to sleep

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An open letter to the MU loudspeaker person

Dear person who runs the scoreboard/JumboTron at the Joan C. Edwards stadium for Marshall football games:

Get with the program.

Sitting in the stands last night watching the Herd take a victory over old Mac-rival Bowling Green, my head was sent into a terribly uncomfortable frenzy during the chaos of what came from you playing extremely loud (nonetheless, fun and energizing) music overtop of the band's tunes.

This happens all...the...time.

Your job is an integral part of each home football game and, don't get me wrong, I appreciate your dedication to the green and white.

However, maybe you should invest in some walkie talkies and collaborate with the band leader so that your musical interludes do not constantly overlap to produce incessant and inevitable headaches and brain spasms for all stadium occupants.

I love listening to Ozzy snd Thunderstruck. I also love hearing Sweet Caroline and the 1st Down piece. I don't love hearing them at the same time.
When I attend away games, I am always incredibly jealous at the cooperation and interworking of the opposing school's band and loudspeaker-person. They always seem to have their acts together, working in conjunction to energize the crowd and boost morale. The overhead music / talking never interrupts the band.

And furthermore, the band is in direct conjunction with the fans to sing silly songs and yell encouraging cheers to their beloved team. However, that's a whole other open letter.

For now, loudspeaker person, please buy those 2-way radios and let's try not to send fans into convulsions.

In love of the Herd,

Jen ( a die-hard MU fan )

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Obama's Media Playing by His Rules

Today's front-page headlines on leading news sites:

CNN
-Carter: Racism key in opposition to Obama
-House admonishes 'You Lie' lawmaker
-Kanye calls Swift with 'sincere' apology
-Cheerleader hunts, kills 10-foot gator
-Sean Penn steps out with new girlfriend

MSNBC
-Carter: Wilson comments 'based on racism'
-Facebook 'cash-flow positive' in second quarter
-Obama: Kanye West a 'jackass' for outburst
-Scoop: Lindsay Lohan shows little sis the night life
-House votes to rebuke Rep. Wilson

The Washington Post
-Alterations of New Fame (First Lady fashion)
-House votes to rebuke Rep. Wilson
-Fake Twitter Accounts Draw Capitals' Attention
-College Football Confronts Threat of Swine Flu
-Supreme Court Asked to Weigh Redskins Case

The New York Times
-Rare Coins: Family Treasure or Ill-Gotten Goods?
-House Rebukes Wilson for Shouting 'You Lie'
-Senate Health bill Draws Fire on Both Sides
-Swift-West Spectacle, Stoked on Screen
-President's Opinion of Kanye West Sparks Debate

Anyone can see a pattern here. Current events are typically common across the board of all media. The Joe Wilson deal, Kanye's outburst, Obama's opinion of Kanye - these have all made the headlines of major media outlets days after they first broke.

But one story you haven't seen splattered across all mainstream media is this:

Pressure For ACORN Probe

That's the main headline on FoxNews.com right now. Here's a little background, because if you read any mainstream media other than Fox, you're most likely unaware of this incredibly serious breaking news story.

You can read it directly from FoxNews.com here.

Basicaly, ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now), better known as the group who supported Obama through his campaign, has been caught on tape four different times in four different branches handing out advice on how to get around federal laws for tax evasion, fraud and prostitution. Yes, people - prostitution.

This is a federally funded organization.

In the San Bernardino tape, which you can watch here, the self-proclaimed-previous-prostitute and not-so-eloquent ACORN worker encourages "Eden" in her business ventures to set up a prostitution business and brothel house for El Salvadorian teenage girls.

This ... is ... sick.

Again, this is an entity FUNDED BY OUR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT - and an Obama supporter. (shocker)

But here is my question: Why are mainstream media not covering this? If they have reported on it or ran an AP article, it was brief and severely downplayed. This is a BIG deal. Why is Fox News the only outlet shining light on such a sickening issue?

If not for the videos, then this: the Senate voted Monday 83-7 to cut off ACORN from Housing and Urban Development grants. AND The Census Bureau cut their ties with the group Friday.

Those issues ALONE are huge deals. Are we truly more interested in how many apologies an arrogant black supremacist gives an innocent country chick?

I don't believe its about interest. It's called CENSORSHIP.

Here's a quote from an ACORN spokesman from the FoxNews.com article I linked above:

Brian Kettenring, an ACORN spokesman, said Republicans were "playing politics" and trying to "stop ACORN's good work fighting to stop the foreclosure crisis and to win quality, affordable health care for all Americans."

Are you KIDDING me? These crazy, treasonous, law-evading ACORN workers are blatantly breaking the law and aiding others in doing the same, and yet its the Republicans trying to play ill. It's always the conservatives' faults.

Regardless - the lack of coverage of this debacle absolutely, positively SICKENS me. The media are corrupt. It shouldn't be about sides or bias or left or right. It should be about presenting the truth, the facts, the stories of importance. We have been failed.

If our government doesn't start doing some serious internal investigations, we are in for some sad, sad trouble.

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Thoughts about Public Enemies

I love the Cinema theater. Sure, it has tiny screens and non-reclining seats and sometimes the picture gets a little messed up. But it is never crowded - ever. And if you buy combo #3, you get free refills on your popcorn and soda! The best part: tickets are half the price of the Marquee theater. That's a great date when you're poor (as I am).

Tonight, Mr. Man and I went to the Cinema to see Public Enemies. Johnny Depp and Christian Bale on the big-screen together? Yes, please.

A few thoughts about the movie:

*John Dillenger, a professional bank robber, (Depp) is clearly the bad guy in the movie. So, why was I constantly hoping he'd get away, escape the law and get the girl? Why was I so bummed when he was finally shot and killed? Maybe because I'm the bad guy in real life?

*i LOVE me some Christian Bale. I first fell head over heels as a youngin' watching Little Women. It's his lisp. Or maybe his bedroom eyes.

*However, this was possibly Lover Bale's least impressive theatrical performance.

*What is up with the X shaved into the back of Johnny Depp's head? I did a Google search and couldn't find anything associated with Dillinger. I found it very interesting.

*I am so glad I wasn't an early-1900s journalist. For lighting, they lit gigantic sparklers. Then again, that could be really fun.

Okay. Public Enemies = good movie.

That's all.

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An Uneventful VMA

So, I'm not really a VMA patron. I never watched it as a teenager. In fact, last year was the first time I actually sat down and made an evening of watching the pre-show and awards (at which I was thoroughly disappointed because of Russell Brand's outrageous remarks).

But, of course, I am obsessed with celebrities and their luxurious, fantastical lives, so I must have all the 411.

Here are a few VMA thoughts from tonight's show:

*Russell Brand is (still) a loud, offensive skank. We know Obama is president, thanks. And we don't need his British help promoting the terrible healthcare plan. But, then again, its probably safe to say he has no idea what the plan entails - just riding the Obama bandwagon like all the other supporters.

*Lady Gaga? Music - rocks. Person - freak. Arrives in a decorated neck brace, continuously makes out with Kermit the Frog, splatters blood all over her white outfit and crazy face, changes into a catsuit that covers her face (freak) and then wraps a bird nest around her head. Crazy girl is trying way too hard.

*Kanye West is a douche. An inconsiderate, rude jerk. Taylor Swift deserved the Pop Video award, and Kanye can suck it.



*Beyonce is super classy for giving Taylor a chance to have her moment. Diva? No. Dynamic.

*Jack Black praying to satan? What was the purpose?

*The red carpet pre-show was a total disappointment. Isn't the point of the pre-show to see all the stars and what they're wearing? They featured less than a dozen celebs! So sad.

*Back to Beyonce. KILLER performance. She rocked the house. I HAVE to learn that dance.

*The Michael Jackson tribute was rather disappointing, as well. I was expecting a kick-butt memorial, but was actually rather bored. Boo to that. He was a freak, anyway.

*Kristin Cavallari: super skinny. What is her secret?!

*New Moon trailer: I don't get the hype.

*Yay for B Spears grabbing an award. Boo for her not performing (or showing up).

All in all, I was pretty upset that I sat for hours watching the VMAs. Apart from the Kanye/Taylor debacle, it was relatively uneventful. Someday, though, I'll be there. In the audience, but I'll be there.

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We will never forget.

Watch. Remember.



If we can watch this and not remember how heartbreaking, frightening, upsetting that day was, then we have broken our promise. We've done what we swore we would never do. We have forgotten.

I'll never forget. I was a high-school sophomore. I went to school that day with the biggest event on my agenda being the delivery of a note with three stickers and nothing else: YES.

Before Honors English, I delivered the note to its recipient, and knew this day would change the rest of my life. Little did I know just how much.

I sat in class, listening to the teacher, who would eventually call me a bitch to another class in which I would not be present, talk about something entirely uninteresting - perhaps Beowulf or something else I never understood or even cared to. The white-fro-haired teacher next door, who was once a contestant on an MTV game show, although I do not remember the exact one, stuck his head inside and said, "turn on the news. The World Trade Center towers have been hit by an airplane."

I didn't know what the World Trade Center was. I didn't know where they were located. And it didn't really matter - we didn't believe him. It was a boy-who-cried-wolf kind of situation; the teacher was a jokester. Eventually, he returned and expressionlessly restated his previous request, to which we adhered.

Sure enough. It was still early enough for teachers to still have hot coffee in their apple-printed mugs, and we stared at the television in disbelief. No one spoke. We just watched. Watched. Watched. And then we watched the second plane crash quickly into the second tower.

I remember it being difficult to hold back my emotions, to not let the tears fall down my face. I wasn't sure if crying was the okay thing to do - I didn't want to be the laughingstock. But no one was watching me. No one cared. And I'm probably correct in assuming everyone else felt the exact same way.

That day, school stayed in session, but no work was done. No lessons taught. At least none that had been prepared by the teachers. We spent the entire day taking in history, witnessing a tragedy of American lives, watching terrorism unfold before our very eyes.

There wasn't much to see. The news replayed the planes crashing, the burning buildings, the falling structures, over and over. And every time it was unbelievable. Every time, I felt so sad.

At home that night, I sat with my family and watched as New Yorkers displayed photos of family members on the streets, on billboards, on clothing, or holding the portraits directly up to the camera. It was heartbreaking.

September 11, 2001 was a day I said yes. And it was a day I said No. No, I will never forget.

And I will never forget.

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