Ch-ch-changes

I'm moving on from blogger and joining the world of Wordpress, thanks to my blogidols Chelsea and Lauren.

Please visit my new and improved (I think) blog at http://pearlsandpolitics.wordpress.com.

My disclaimer: it's much more plain than this one, but that is precisely the way I had hoped. Something straight to the point. But I hope you come to my blog because of what I write, and not because of what it looks like.

I'm also still in the process of adding all my previous blogs to Wordpress, but I'm only about halfway there. Bear with me. (Nobody reads old posts anyway.) Also, I have added all the comments to each blog, but - unfortunately - it shows my avatar on each. Oh well. I'm not stressing over it. Does anyone know how to fix that?

Anyway, it's just time to move on to bigger and better things.

Thanks, y'all!

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I Need Help. ... No, Really!

I have big dreams for my little ol' blog. Sure, I only get about 300 hits a month right now, but I figure there is potential for more if I do things right.

But that's the key: do things right.

So, I am asking the (few) people who read me for some opinions / help. A few things:

1. Wordpress? Should I go switch over? I have used it some in my previous job, but just for basic posting. I have a feeling it's pretty self-explanatory, but so far I've had some problems getting my own started, mostly with the ...
2. Theme? I want something custom, classy and contemporary. I made a header, but I'm not sure it's quality work. I'm a writer, not so much of a designer. Don't judge. ... I was under the impression Wordpress was free, but when I try to change the CSS it says I need to upgrade? Do I? Then what? Help.
3. Is it a good idea to change my URL? Will I lose traffic? I plan to eventually buy pearlsandpolitics.com, but it's owned for a couple more months, although nothing is being done with it. Is this a good shift? Or should I stick with the free blogspot account?

As you can see, I'm clueless and ignorant. I need help. I want my blog to be top-notch - something people will want to come back to every day (like I do with Lauren from Texas, Roots and Rings, and Sings the Magpie). I know appearance has a lot to do with recurring traffic - I don't return to ugly blogs.

So ... any help is deeply appreciated. I want to want to blog, but when I look at my pink, bubblegummish, teenagery theme, it makes me want to vomit.

Thanks, y'all.

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Mr. Clean

Today, Mr. Clean Man did the unthinkable (in guy world) ... he cleaned. And by "cleaned," I mean he actually used product to scrub and disinfect the bathroom. And vacuumed! (And not with a broom!) He's pretty awesome.

When I walked into the (almost) clean bathroom, the smell of SoftScrub along with the light breeze coming through the open window reminded me of when I was a kid. I loved getting off the school bus, walking in my freshly cleaned home with all the windows and doors open (yes, I lived in the boonies). Not sure why I remember this. My mom has always been a bit of a clean freak - but I love it. I inherited a little of her OCDness ... mine just rarely gets put into action. Maybe one day.

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Lungs of a Smoker, Never Took a Hit

There are many few things of which I am intolerant. But cigarette smoking in public when a crowd is present comes close to (if not AT) the very top.

I will admit my stupidity for standing out in the cold for four hours to get free tickets to a 30-minute concert. But, that's my perogative. I'm hurting no one but myself.

However, the sidewalk along the Keith Albee entrance is uber-crowded with my fellow Rascal Flatts groupies. And everytime someone gives into the nicotine urge, we ALL have to inhale the deathly carcinogens.

I understand it's legal and ONLY legal to suck on cancer sticks outside (in most cases). But, it is just common courtesy to blow your smoke where no one else has to breathe it in. Today, in fact, there is a non-busy, two-lane street that separates us from the other, crowd-free side of the road. Please take your smell over there.

To top it off, a man, who I will refer to as Mr. Bud Light hat, steps out of the door behind me into my tiny cubby that is keeping me from the unbearable chill of the wind, and lights up, filling my personal bubble with intoxicating (not in a good way) fumes. So, to maintain my breathing, I step to the end of the sidewalk and not-nonchalantly (would that just be chalantly? Okay, no.) wave the smoke out of my face. And I may have even thrown in a forced cough or two.

For a few minutes, I watch Mr. Bud Light hat ingest toxic chemicals into his lungs. When he is done, old guy flips his butt (cigarette, that is) down on the ground. See below.

(a few more things about this photo: a) the girl on the right is the ballsy chick who, at about 3 hours into waiting, plopped her butt .... real one, that is .... down at the front of the line. I mean, really? Also, here you can see my little cubby in which I was standing. As you can see, it's very personal-space invading.)

My problem with Mr. Bud Light hat, other than the blatant littering, is that only a few feet away stood this:

Yep! A place to dispose of your used cancer sticks! So, not only are you, Mr. Bud Light hat, filling others' lungs with harmful carcinogens, but you're making the streets we walk on ugly. Thanks.

Then, I turn around and see this:

The only thing I hate more than being surrounded by cigarette smoke is seeing adults blow their smoke around their own children. I can at least walk away. Children have no choice. This is appalling, unhealthy, inappropriate and careless. Parents need to be responsible and need to be held accountable for their actions.

Oh, and by the way, today is the Great American Smokeout. Epic. Fail.

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Me.

I don't want to be like everyone else anymore. And even more so, I don't want to want to be like everyone else.

I'm pretty hard on myself, and I throw a lot of extravagant pity parties for poor ol' Jen. But maybe who I am isn't so bad.

So what if things aren't how I planned them to be when I was growing up? Who really knows anything about life at 16? All I was basing my dreams and visions on were the outcomes of others' lives. And those people undoubtedly went through their share of not-fun, depressing times.

I've really never been one to hate myself. In fact, I've always pretty much loved everything about me. This past year has changed that, for sure, but whose fault is that other than mine? And whose fault is it if it stays that way? Again, mine.

I'll never be model-thin or basketball-player tall. I'll never have a Whitney voice or Cindy Crawford looks. But what keeps me from building an Oprah empire or joining the socialites of NYC? Maybe I'll never get to those places in my life, but I'll certainly never get there if I don't try.

I know what I want, but those things seem to hate my guts.

And when no one wants you to stay, you have no other choice but to go.

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Ten on Tuesday

I clearly have no imagination, because I repeatedly take blog ideas from my favorite bloggers. BUT - I always link back... AND Chelsea invited her readers to keep the questions going. ... So, I am.


1. What are some of your family traditions?
Traditions typically come out during the holidays - but wouldn't it be fun to have traditions throughout the whole year? Oh well. 
In December, the women on my mom's side of the family always get together to bake cookies. We each bring our own recipe(s), ingredients and bakeware. We mix, we roll, we bake and we have a good time with family. (And, of course, we all help clean up.) At the end of the day, we share each others' cookies, which is the best part!
But my favorite tradition of all time is on Christmas Eve. Since I was a little girl, I remember walking into my Mamaw's house and she is always stirring the punch. Love this. Sometimes, I have to call and remind her I'm coming over and to get ready. But - it's the thought that counts! (PS - her Christmas punch is the BEST punch I've ever tasted. By. Far.)


2. Do you know how to change a flat tire?
Actually, I do. Could I execute it properly? Not so sure. But the better question is, "Do you know how to put gas in your car?" because I have been stranded so many more times for running out of gas than having a flat tire. Probably 10 to 1. It's called procrastination.


3. Do you subscribe to any magazines? What are your favorites?
I do, but not enough. Mr. Man's mom gave me a Real Simple subscription for Christmas last year, which may be one of the best Christmas presents EVER (you keep getting it ALL year). I used to subscribe to Cosmopolitan, Women's Health and the Food Network ... but I'm poor now. Real Simple is definitely my favorite ... maybe because it's the only one that comes to me via mail. 


4. What are your top three favorite office supply items? (If you don’t share the love of office supplies with me or if you are male, you may skip this question.)
BIC mechanical pencils. I love how the eraser is perfect when you first buy the pack, although I hate making that first mistake. The pencil loses all its innocence.


Notebooks. Any and all. I love the plain to the gaudy. My only stipulation is no wide rule. I love a sketch book, a composition notebook, a journal or a regular, college ruled notebook. But it's always a struggle for me to write on that first page. Like the pencil's eraser, it's so clean and perfect - and I'm about to mess it up. But ... I always do.


Planners. Regardless of what Chelsea says, I think day planners are an essential office supply. Like notebooks, I love them all. Big or small, I don't discriminate.


5. Are you a good public speaker?
My initial answer is "NO!" But, if I have great notecards, or (if I'm President Obama) I have a teleprompter, I can make a heck of a speech. This hasn't always been the case. In my first years of college, my speech class was my dreaded hour of the day. I was terrified to stand in front of the class of, like, 15 people and talk about anything. I'd sweat and be nauseated. Fun times. 


6. How do you feel about acronyms?
Well, Burnis and AP Style certainly turned me off to them years ago. But sometimes, they can be fun. Unless you're ACORN.


7. What's the most creative thing you've ever done? (Bloggers, feel free to include pictures!)
I'd like to have something more appropriate or mature than what I'm about to say ... but I'm afraid this might be the winner. ... In high school, my BFF Kristi and I needed Halloween costumes for my party. Since it was the day-of and we were still costume-less, we threw on trashbags, glued on banana peels, food wrappers and (dare I admit this) even a (clean) tampon, and called ourselves white trash.


8. I'd rather jam a pen in my eye than...
-go back to high school
-work retail (oh wait, I do)
-drink V8
-watch someone spit


9. What company has the best advertising?
For lack of time of thinking, I'm going to go with Apple. Although I do love their commercials, I'm certain there are more entertaining ads out there. 


10. When is your birthday?
May 8. I don't want to turn 24!!! Noooooooo!

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Wow ... I'm out of shape.

After waking up early at 10 AM to the incessant, obnoxious ringing of the telephone, it was time to start my day.

I sat down with a bowl of Special K (with yogurt and berries ... mmm) to watch my favorite morning show people of all time - Regis and Kelly. And who else was on the show but my favorite celebutards of all time - Heidi and Spencer.  I am not ashamed to say that I will most likely buy their book, How to be Famous. (Because, clearly, I have a chance at that.)

I looked down to see an eyelash in my cereal. Very likely it was my own ... but does that make it any better? I dipped my spoon in the milk and just like that, the eyelash disappeared into cereal land. I took another bite from the other side of the bowl and then, upon imagining myself unknowingly ingesting that eyelash, became a bit nauseated and poured it out.

So now it is all of 10:30 AM. No work until 5 PM and nowhere to go. What to do? Ah, the forbidden two words: work out. I mean, it's only been months.

I grabbed my newest pair of running shorts ...

(not the exact pair ... but close. And I paid 10 bucks for them at Marshalls! I know, I'm so thrifty!)

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... tied up my laces, turned on my Let's Get Skinny playlist on my iPod and pressed Start on the treadmill.

Minutes 1 through 5, I was singing along with Fergie and Jason Mraz, doing a little dance here and there (almost fell only once).

Minutes 6 through 10, I resorted to singing in my head and focusing on my breathing.

Minutes 11 and 12, I mentally pumped myself up. ("Come on, Jen. You can do this, you fat tub of lard.")

Minute 13, I pressed stop and started bargaining with God for my life. Minute 13 is also the time I realized, I am certainly way, WAY out of shape.

Yes, this is all pretty embarrassing and actually quite sad. HOWEVER, I am satisfied with myself today because I got off my butt, turned off the TV and did something for myself. I know this whole "getting into shape" thing takes a very long time, but being healthy is something I have to do. I have too many physical conditions that rely on me taking care of myself. I can do this.

So, after almost dying, I was hungry. (duh) I skipped the pizza rolls, although they were screaming at me, and made myself a salad. A delicious salad, might I add.

A handful of baby spinach lettuce, about a tablespoon of chopped onion, tablespoon of chopped tomato, half a cucumber, about a half tablespoon of shredded cheese, salt, pepper and a side of Ranch. I never put dressing directly on my salad (unless I'm at Olive Garden) because:

1. It smothers the taste of the salad and makes me want to gag.
2. You will actually eat less dressing (the most fattening part of the salad) if you either dip your naked fork into the dressing and then get salad, or the other way around. And it tastes just the same ... or in my opinion, better!

Too bad the onion I used was mega potent, and now I'm going to have killer breath for a week. Not to mention the smell coming through my pores. Lovely, right?

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Today I....

- drove a big ol' redneck truck. (And it was a stick shift, which is easy in a little tiny car. But in a big ol' honkin' truck? No, thanks!)

- decided to have the peanut butter cookie double doosie instead of the m&m cookie double doosie. And it was wonderful.

- spilled water in my lap on the way to work. It very much looked like I peed my pants.

- have a headache.

- saw Mr. Man for all of five minutes. That's just enough to make ya mad.

- wish I lived on Huntington Avenue.

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a great many things (as I have mentioned before). An astronaut, a writer, Miss America. I guess one out of three isn't so bad.

As an adult, there are still a great many things I dream of becoming, although I now understand the reality of my hopes and ambitions and know they're quite unlikely ... or will cost me another 50 grand in student loans to be qualified.

Here's my situation: in high school, I worked at The Buckle. I quit, went to college for five years, got my bachelor's in print journalism, and guess where I'm working now? The Buckle.

Oh, and I make $5.50 / hr plus 3% commission. Not quite ideal.

I almost feel as if my college time was a waste, considering I can't find a writing job around here - or really anywhere. But I haven't exactly been actively looking outside the Tri-State area.

See, one of my big dreams growing up was to move away. New York. California. Somewhere big. Along the way of getting older, though, my ideals have changed. I've realized I love being with Mr. Man and the two munchkins, and that is what is most important to me. (Ideally, I'd love to get married and add to our ready-made family, but that's another blog). Now, my ideal occupation(s) would be a wife, stay-at-home mom and work-from-home freelance writer. Plus, add in carpool chauffeur, soccer mom, healer of boo boos, etc. That's a lot of responsibility.

Clearly, all that is far away for me. So, what do I do in the mean time? Stick around this dump of a town working at (below) minimum wage jobs and (dare I admit this) living in the storage room at my parents? Or, should I pursue my one-time biggest dream and find something awesome to do in NYC or LA? I'm really not sure. Granted, I know I absolutely can't fathom the thought of being without Mr. Man and my babies, but what is the best choice?

So,  I applied for an office manager position with Twitter. (as did probably 1 million+ Americans). Although I am qualified, I am sure I will not land the job. I never really had high hopes for it, but I thought - why the heck not. If for some crazy odd reason they call me and say "hey Jen, we love you and your celeb-stalkerish tendencies of Twitter," maybe I'll just head on out to San Francisco anyway.

I'll let you know.

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Today I....

Today, I:

**burnt the bottoms of our cinnamon rolls. I knew I shouldn't have sprayed the pan with Pam.

**used public transportation as a means to get to work ... for the first time ever. (and, as a result, was 15ish minutes late for work).

**began to understand why Mr. Man always talks about "women drivers." The bus driver lady gave me whiplash at every stop sign.

**wore men's deodorant. When you forget to pack your own, ya gotta do somethin'.

**missed the home Marshall game. I hear it was sucky anyway.

**drove the streets of Huntington while the Gang War is in progress. It was like a real-live video game or something.

**told a lot of people a lot of clothes were "super cute" when, in reality, I wouldn't buy it for someone I hated. Commission changes people.

**realized how much I love my own pillows. All 4,600 of them. You really understand how much you take things for granted when they're gone. I miss you, pillows. We'll reunite tomorrow.

**tweeted "please come to WV" to Heidi and Spencer. Not sure if I'd be able to have a conversation with either one of them if they did, in fact, come to WV. But I just want to see Spencer's blonde beard in person. And maybe laugh a little.

**had a lot of interesting tidbits for my "Today I..." blog, but now I can't remember any of them.

That's pretty much my day. Boring. I need sleep, and more blog topics. And a bigger following. Ugh.

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Currently

I suck at consistently posting. I really wish I could be a serial blogger, but it seems that life gets in the way a little too often. My November resolution is to write more. We'll see how long that lasts.


Sings the Magpie (my friend from J-school) introduced me to Lauren from Texas, whose blog I have fallen head over heels for. And yes, I just ended a sentence with a preposition. A lot of good those 5 years of J-school did me.


Anyway. Lauren from Texas periodically posts a blog about everything she is "currently" about. And, because I love the idea, I'm borrowing it. But mosey on over to her site (after you read mine, of course) and check out her ramblings. You'll loves.


So, here's my currents for November 12, 2009. (p.s. - my answers are not necessarily what is happening at this exact moment ... its a general idea of my life)



Wearing
BKE Starlites. Every. Single. Day. It's the only pair of Buckle (where I work) jeans that I own. And although I do get a 40% discount, I'm still too poor to buy a new wardrobe. Sad, I know.

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Reading
Blogs, mostly. Magazines. And text messages, of course. But I'm also trying to find time to finish the two Jodi Picoult books I started - but I honestly can't even remember the titles. Again, sad.

Listening to
Love, love, loving the Glee soundtrack I just downloaded. It makes me want to choreograph all of my in-shower performances.

Eating
Lots and lots of bad stuff. Chick-Fil-A has become a staple since working at the mall. I really need to be more healthy - but how?

Drinking
Water, FINALLY! I am weaning myself off soda again. I once went an entire 364 days without drinking a sip of soda. But on New Year's Eve day that year, Mr. Man talked me into giving up my whole year's hiatus and I purchased and gulped down a Mt. Dew. It tasted so, so weird. I should try again next year, and maybe make it that extra day. Doubtful.

Celebrity Crush
Taylor Swift. By. Far. I feel like she could be my BFF. And I'd love to sit around and harmonize with her for a day. Is that weird?

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Obsession
America's Next Top Model. This is the first season I've even followed religiously, but I'm so addicted. I was hoping Jennifer would win, and not just because we share a ridiculously wonderful name. But, she was eliminated tonight, so now I'm rootin' for country gal Laura all the way. Who will be named Americas ..... next ...... top ..... model. The suspense.

Pet Peeve
Control freaks. Yeah, sure, I'm kind of one, myself. But - that's okay.

Coveting
Kim Kardashian's body. We have a love/hate relationship. I love to watch her TV shows on E!, but I hate her for having the body I want. Ah, to dream.

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Saving for
A car. A clunker. An engine with four wheels. Also, a place of my own. Pathetic, I know.

Hoping to
Find a new job. The Buckle ain't cuttin' it. Not only am I making pennies, but I'm completely exhausted at the end of the day - and that just isn't spectacular in my book. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind hard work and being worn out from it - I would just like to get paid accordingly. I need a big girl job ... pronto.

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What if?

We make decisions every minute, every day of our lives. Some are of much greater importance than others, but all indicative of the future.

Today, for example, I chose to look for apartments in Huntington, to which my efforts availed no positive outcome. I chose to take lemonade and crackers to work on my 4-hour shift, which resulted in me saving $5 on a drink and snack for the evening. I chose to accept my manager's request for me to work 8 am - 5 pm instead of my scheduled 3 pm - 10ish pm, which will inevitably result in my feet throbbing uncontrollably and me being so tired I'll want to come home and crash.

The decisions we make, important or irrelevant, can result in positive or negative reactions. Unfortunately for me, my terrible, irrational decision-making skills have placed me in a position today that I never thought I would be. And I wonder, what if.

So, decisions I have made that I may or may not want to change should I be given the option:

1. Cheerleading in high school. I mean, why not? Flying in the air and doing body-wrenching twists just seems uber-cool.
2. Never finishing all of my summer reading. Both of my Honors and AP English teachers in high school were killer, but I wish I would have let them challenge me instead of intimidate me. Actually reading the assigned books and 86ing the use of SparkNotes would have been ideal.
3. Getting married at 18 years old. I mean, that's a no-brainer, right?
4. Getting divorced at 20 years old. Again, a no-brainer. But, had I changed decision #3, decision #4 would be irrelevant. So much goes into these two decisions, though, that would make much more sense to a reader on the outside - but those are my problems that I have and will deal with myself.
5. Credit cards. My, my, my. How it would have changed my life not having credit cards. Debt is a four-letter word that I find appalling and sickening, but something we only get ourselves into and can only get ourselves out of. If I have any advice for young people, it's stay away from credit. What did I buy? I really have no idea.
6. Forget Journalism - something, anything else. Unless you're the editor-in-chief for National Geographic or The New York Times, print journalism is not the way to go in the 21st century. It's going digital. Unfortunately, my professors and advisor did not let me in on this little tidbit of info until I was over halfway finished with my degree - and I wasn't turning back then. Now, I can't get a job (other than in retail or food service ... which blows) and I'm basically forced to go back to school. Crappy.

I could go on and on and on and on about crappy decisions I have made, but that would just be really depressing, and I've had enough of that lately. But I can't change the past. All I can do is make the right decisions in the future, and hopefully I'll be competent and intelligent enough to discern from right and wrong, and what is good, bad, best and worst for me. If not, at least I'll have something to blog about in the years to come.

And, for the record, I hate thinking about "what if." It's pointless, discouraging and unproductive. But every now and then I like to dream. You know, about "what if" I decided to run away at 16, hitchhike to California, starve myself and become a model or actress. I'm skinny, rich, and wearing Manolos. A girl can dream.

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